On second thought, that’s probably not the best title for this post.
Something was brought to my attention yesterday, and it’s something I already knew, but it’s something I really need to fix.
I am atheist. Mostly. But, see, I’ve never even read the Bible 😐 . Nor have I ever been to a church service. Right there tells you how hypocritical that makes me. I mean I should give it a fair chance but frankly I don’t think I could stomach it.
But, I know what’s in there. I know from experience, from other people, without even reading, that what’s in there is something I’d rather not see.
Self-discipline is actually important here. Should I or should I not force myself to try to see things from another side? It’s only fair. It’s what I’d want people who aren’t atheist to try.
And I’ll be honest: I don’t like having my thoughts challenged. Not many people do. I’m also very easily tempered. I know it won’t be “pleasure reading” and I’ll be very likely to get infuriated. I’d rather just not try.
I hate being in this situation where I just profess for or against something without any validity behind it. It’s a very awkward place because everybody expects you to back it up with something. It’s not fair for me to just hate the religion.
Maybe this will help to explain my situation better: I’m not specificially atheist, I’m just not Christian and I don’t follow any other religion. Agnostic? Perhaps.
If people would get less worked up about it, I wouldn’t care as much. The fact that anyone takes any of it seriously is both amazing and hilarious (yes, that includes me, because if I didn’t take it seriously I wouldn’t be against it). The believers or the non, both are in the same boat.
If there is a god in the Christian sense, then I’m going to hell. The lowest level of hell.
This is where ‘reality expansion’ techniques come into play. In order to learn more about myself and the rest of the world, I need to be self-disciplined enough to actually want to study it. I need to give everything in the world a fair chance, so my eyes can open a little bit more. I’m not nearly as open-minded as I wish I was. So, if I want to change that, I have to try to change that.
Poorly written post? You bet. Eh, it’s an off day. Didn’t sleep well, etc.