A while back, I found an article on Pick The Brain called “Why No Response Doesn’t Mean Not Interested” that I fell in love with. I hate the site, I hate any site that purports to be for self-improvement and then whores itself out (it’s very distrusting).. but there was one thing of interest in a bullet point:
The person who assumes nobody wants to talk with him because he sits quietly in a corner during a party.
Obviously that’s not a sentence but that’s not the point.
The point is, unless you try, most people will (annoyingly) not know that you want to try or you want to be noticed. People LIKE you. People WANT to be around you. But they can’t if you don’t look like you want them.
Just because they don’t talk to you doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you. They may not have noticed you, or may not have had time to chat. If they’ve talked to you before, nothing’s changed. There’s no reason to worry that they hate you because of a couple instances of appearing ignored. Most won’t even think about it past that 5-second period. That’s a good thing because it means they’re not caring about your perhaps awkward appearance.
This is a tall order for me to overcome, personally. I’ve been relying too much on that “other-confidence” because I don’t have enough self-confidence. There’s the rub..and irony. If you want to get more friends you need to be confident but for me it’s hard to be confident without my friends’ shoulders to stand on.
Why am I writing about this? Well, today was a strange day. People actually talked to me. Yes me. Even talking to the people I always do, it felt different..like I was a freer person.
I hope this is a good sign.
Remember kids, don’t be a weenie! Or at least be a good one, with chili, and cheese..yum.