Being a pacifist has its good points

One concept I’ve struggled with for a long time is getting overly riled up over something and managing my emotions without getting out of control and giving the other person undue hell. People say they can’t see me mad, but that’s because I tend to drift away from conflict. In truth, I’m decidedly short-tempered.

Because of this, I also drift away from the “serious issues”. I feel immensely uncomfortable engaging in debates about hot topics, and tend to avoid them due to the friction caused, even in friendships. Naturally, being social phobic, I’d also rather not embarrass myself when I realize my beliefs aren’t as well-formed as someone else’s.

I mean sure I have morals, I have conflicts of interest, and I have things I would jump up in a heartbeat to stand up for or oppose, but for many things I just have to let go, because I just can’t coherently argue about them.

Standing idly by, though, is not something that comes easy to me. I’m held back by fear of rejection of my ideas moreso than my politeness. I can be raging on the inside, prepared to lash out, but restrict myself, not only because engaging a debate would be emotionally aggravating, but also because I’m simply not skilled in debating, and better thinkers would be able to knock my opinions over one by one. I’d come away disheartened and my ego would make me sleep on the couch.

Trying to dive into an argument without having a basis is equally hard. I’ve been defined as a feeler more than a thinker (via random online personality tests, natch), and I just have certain opinions because I have certain opinions. I just happen to feel one way or another. My opinions aren’t completely baseless, but they have far less support for them than a ‘thinker’ type of personality.

But, by being a pacifist, I feel like I prevent unnecessary stress and strife, both on the part of me being embarrassed, and on the part of the other party debating more efficiently without me dragging them down.

If debates, arguments, even wars are necessary to advance society and the realm of thought, then I have failed the human race. (but I still love myself )

Let’s get ready to arguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue!. Or, you know, just stand there. That’s good too.